Glhlavka World

So we’ve lived in Ballard for years, always driving by Mike’s Chili Parlor commenting on how we really need to go. We finally went a few weeks ago and we can’t get enough of this place! The reasons for patronizing the little brick structure are numerous and more importantly, sentimental. You may ask how a tavern can become sentimental after only a few weeks worth of visits. It’s because we have been made to feel most welcome and appreciated each time we visit by both staff and patrons.

Let me first address the quality of the chili. It is most certainly delicious. Not the best chili I have ever had but certainly the best I have ever purchased at a restaurant. It’s an old fashioned recipe…no funky business. Just what chili should be, chock full of beef, family secret blend of spices and delicious beans. I like to top mine with cheese and onions. One thing I appreciate about Mike’s Chili is that the raw onions are so finely minced, they don’t overpower the delicious chili flavor. Some say the chili has a little kick to it but it is nothing a little sip of cold beer won’t wash away. Some also would say that beans don’t agree with me (something about silent alarms under the covers). So I like to order the “chili meaty” which consists of a giant fried patty of hamburger smothered in savory bean-less chili. Saves me later grief.

Here are the real reasons I love Mike’s Chili Parlor…the patrons and the staff. Where else can you go to have a pint and dine with everyone ranging from Cadillac driving grandparents to hip young couples to sun damaged, grey-bearded shipyard workers? How fun is it to sit next to two old guys, hands stone-hard calloused and black with grease that won’t wash off only to discuss kittens and puppies over a pitcher? Hands so full of work history that when you shake them, you check for a greasy residue. Hearts so soft, you giggle like a little school girl as they ply you with stories of kitty scalp massages, modern day pirates and the joys of smoking indoors. These are my kinda guys!

The waitstaff at Mike’s is superb. We went there one night a few weeks ago and it was a birthday night for the only gal working. Well, she talked us into having a shot called a “between the sheets”. She was wearing a tiara with a toothy grin, how could we resist? It was delightful and tasted like lemonade. During our latest visit, we had the pleasure of being served by the hardest working woman in town. The place was totally packed and she was the only waitress. She gracefully worked the room with her platinum blond hair, tattooed flesh and impish grin. This woman is a true artist at her trade. She was so charming and hypnotic, that we didn’t even care that it took over ten minutes to take our food order. We already had a cold pitcher of beer on our table, had a little flirt thrown our way and made to feel like we were at home. We were content to watch the show.

Don’t let the simple, unimposing exterior fool you. Yes, this is an old greasy dive…but Mike’s Chili Parlor has the grace, class and subtlety to pull it off. Behind the mystique of secret recipes, salty patrons and legendary wait staff lies a true Ballard treasure. One that has been right under our noses for so long. I wish we had visited earlier in our lives.